if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
