i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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