Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
