so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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