if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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