They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
