I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
