I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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