i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
