this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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