Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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