Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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