Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
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