you would pick up someone in the library
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
