if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
