And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
