Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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