If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
