he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
