So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
How's work?
Spinning.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
