so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
