I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
