i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
