I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
