im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
