I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
