he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
