But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
