What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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