"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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