We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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