it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I looked at my own cervix.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
