there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
operation harelip BJ is a go
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
