Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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