The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
