I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
