He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I met the friendliest cop last night
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
