she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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