it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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