Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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