1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
there was a trapeze. enough said
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
