Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
