she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
