Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I love you. Go after that dick
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
