I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
