In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
