Small penises have feelings too.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
