Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
