Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
