...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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