p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
