Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
