I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
